Letter to Brobama on Supreme Court Vacancy

Dear President Brobama,

Appreciating that you are rather busy, I shall cut to the proverbial chase and strongly recommend that you appoint Elizabeth Holtzman to the Supreme Court seat vacated by Justice Souter’s retirement. She, being brilliant, ethically unimpeachable, tirelessly diligent, and deeply experienced as a prosecutor, a Congressperson, and an attorney and constitutional scholar, would make an ideal replacement for Mr. Souter.

In terms of political capital, she’s a wonderful twofer: A Jewish woman! The only problem I envision is that she takes the rule of law over individuals, however powerful those individuals may be, very seriously. She wouldn’t be the least happy with your refusing to enforce the law against the knaves, thugs and thieves affectionately known as the Bush Dynasty, but that is all the more reason to appoint her to The Bench.

As a sitting justice, her governmental role would be completely passive, waiting for cases to arrive at her door, safely removed from the possibility of serving in some prosecutorial capacity wherefrom she might go after the perfidious and nefarious bastards, incarcerating them as the law demands. Don't want loose cannons who take justice seriously out and about, never knowing when they might cause trouble. Inconvenient thing, moral courage. Ah, but you, Mr. President, needn't be bothered by such matters.

Ms. Holtzman, however, is righteousness waiting to happen. Best put her on the Court. It would be, among a litany of impressive ones, your greatest triangulation yet. I offer this suggestion as bona fide food for thought, Mr. President.

A Clearly Loyal and Unquestioning Supporter